Nanny. Nanny. NAAAAANNNYYY!!!
Today we returned from the lovely Lake District after a slightly less lovely 7 hours in the car. That’s 7 hours not including the 2 hours stop and the 30 minutes stop. So yes, for all you budding Rachel Rileys out there that’s 9hrs 30mins to get home today from a place that is a mere 4 hours away.
And yes, the use of the word ‘mere’ was an intentional pun, given the plethora of meres in the Lake District. I don’t just type this shit blindly and hope, don’tcha know.
The journey to the Lake District on Monday also totalled 9hrs 30mins, so without even including the travelling done whilst there, that’s already 19 hours of travelling for what is effectively 3 days of holiday.
Note to self – must book longer holidays!
Anyhoo, the 3 days we were actually there were lovely. Lakes, lovely weather, alcohol, good food, hot tub and a few firsts for the little one. Even a few lie ins were possible due to my parents coming along with us and bizarrely enjoying early mornings.
‘I do hope those firsts you refer to weren’t linked to the hot tub and alcohol’ I hear you pondering, fingers poised on the speed dial button to Social Services. No, they were not. Here, by means of explanation, are some of the firsts that Joshua encountered:
1. A ride on a choo choo train.
2. Holding an owl.
3. Milking a (plastic) cow.
4. Sitting on a dig dig.
5. Climbing on a cargo net thingies (with unintentional somersault thrown in for good measure!)
6. Playing in a house made of sticks.
7. Meeting the Gruffalo (zero shits were given).
8. Throwing coin in a wishing well.
9. Inserting money into a tree trunk.
10. Looking like a convicted criminal (i.e. didn’t really want his photo taken!!)
The little man was actually pretty awesome all week and had a great time, not least because Nanny and Grandad were there to play with him constantly. He decided that he would only hold nanny’s hand this week, and would shout ‘Nanny, Nanny, Nanny’ repeatedly if she dared to stray more than a couple of metres away from him! At least having them both with us provided more defensive cover when trying to stop him running into roads or lakes!
It wasn’t all perfect up North though. There were wasps EVERYWHERE! This was not helped by the fact that the lodge next to our one either had a wasp nest under the eaves or was hosting some kind of wasp convention. This meant each morning that our car had at least 15 wasps sat on it waiting to pounce, which wasn’t ideal! Hands were clapped, furled newspapers waved and doors cracked open just enough to squeeze bodies through.
The other Lake District downside was the cream tea composition. Instead of yummy clotted cream like we have down South they seem to use squirty cream. SQUIRTY CREAM!! Who on earth uses squirty cream on scones?! If Jesus liked scones he’d be weeping.
Anyway, now I’m back home again it’s time to write this blog entry and catch up on all the social media stuff that didn’t work up north! Really miss the hot tub though…